Miles Moseley was this evening sensationally sacked from his position as Chairman of St Matthews Cricket Club bringing an end to a nine-year reign of depraved debauchery and clubwide moral decline.
A murderous posse of angry members had once again gathered outside the Social Club to heckle as Moseley arrived under an armed escort for the monthly meeting. Dissidents of the Moseley reign had been lobbying weaker members of the committee for months, but this evening came the final blow as former Moseleyites rounded on the under-fire leader.
Outside, what had started out as an angry demonstration by a few members soon grew into an anti-chairman riot that required police intervention. Reports suggest that immediately upon hearing the news of the unrest, Moseley ordered his followers to open fire on demonstrators, however most of the committee present sided with the protesters and the coup was born.
A hurried vote took place and Moseley was officially overthrown at 8.45pm with a statement to that effect read immediately to the rioters. Scenes of jubilation were quickly replaced with a bloodthirsty demand for vengeance as the revolutionaries stormed the meeting and dragged Moseley outside.
A hastily arranged kangaroo court laid charges at Moseley's door ranging from dropping that dolly of a catch to win the game against Beaudesert a decade ago, through to genocide. Found guilty on all charges, despite much more than reasonable doubt being presented, Moseley was sentenced to immediate execution.
Punishment was swiftly actioned as the baying crowd roared on. A loud cheer arose as the severed head was finally displayed on a pike at the entrance to the Social Club while each of his limbs was dispatched to the four corners of Britain as a warning to all who followed him.
As the excitement died down, remaining committee members pondered the state of the club. Rudderless and adrift in stormy waters with a mutanous crew - where next for the good ship St Matthews? "Certainly not Okehampton" commented one...
4 comments:
Ship him out!
He shall rise again!!!! Don't loose faith!!!
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you
the real JW says:
pretty much what my vile impersonator says, actually.
Video is the funniest thing ever (on this blog site)
NINE... MORE... YEARS!
(until he is allowed back in the club)
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