Saints Rhyming Slang

The Captain seems to think Mystic Meg, Arthur Scargill and Jonathan Ross are playing. He's just told me to smoke a joint - and a lethal dose too! Carl Chin is on the M6 Toll looking for fog on the tyne, there are two closet queens at either end of the ignition switch and to cap it all off, two men have just walked out of the Brazilian.

What does it all mean???

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Fielding Positions
Lucky Dip = Slip - I want two lucky dips please
My Lover = Cover - I want you to be my lover
Smoke a Joint = Point - go smoke a joint please
Mystic Meg = Square Leg - We need a Mystic Meg
Godfather (The Don) = Mid On - Who is the Godfather?
Darren Gough = Mid Off - Can you be Goughy?
Arthur Scargill (picket) = Mid Wicket - Field at Arthur please
Nest Egg = Fine Leg - Do you want a nest egg?
Queen Anne = Third Man - Take a breather down at Queen Anne
Mulder & Scully = Gully - Nice vegetable patch, Mulder
Sad Mourner = Cow Corner - We need a sad mourner for this fat cat
Lethal Dose = In Close - Get in for a lethal dose
Road Sweeper = Wicketkeeper - You're the greatest road sweeper
Huggy Bear = Square - Can you go a bit Huggy Bear
Big Dipper = Skipper - Who's your big dipper?

Bowling
M6 Toll = Bowl - After the next straits of dover, you can M6
Carl Chin = Spin - Do you M6 carl chin?
Laser Beam = Seam - I M6 laser beam and poker face
Poker Face = Pace - He's a pure poker face M6er
Highland Fling = Swing - He can highland fling it all over the place
Fog on the Tyne = Line - That's a good fog on the tyne
Tenth = Length - Nice tenth
High Court = Short - You're in the high court
Cotton Wool = Full - Too cotton wool
Kiss the Bride = Wide - You don't want to kiss the bride
Senegal = No Ball - Too many trips to Senegal
TV Announcer = Bouncer - Nice TV announcer with poker face
Pork Pie = Bye - Lots of pork pies today road sweeper
Private Eye = Leg Bye - Was that a private eye, church spire?
Conger Eel = Appeal - The M6er led a big conger eel
Jonathan Ross = Full Toss - We don't want to see Jonathan Ross
Straits of Dover = Over - That was a good straits of dover

Ground
Liquid Soap = Boundary Rope - I want you on the liquid soap
Brazilian = Pavillion - I was back in the Brazilian
Ignition Switch = Pitch - The ignition switch is a bit green
Six Inch Nails = Bails - The road sweeper took off the six inchers
Athens (Capital of Greece) = Crease - Stay in your Athens
School Pumps = Stumps - Aim for the school pumps
Closet Queen = Sightscreen - Can you move the closet queen please?
Church Spire - Umpire - Howzat, church spire?

Getting Out
Much Maligned = Caught Behind - I was much maligned
Common Cold = Bowled - I got a common cold
Parking Ticket = Leg Before Wicket - I got a parking ticket
Boy Scout = Run Out - A direct hit for a boy scout
Sold Short = Caught - I was sold short by Arthur Scargill
Pickup Truck = Duck - I got a pickup truck
Vegetable Patch = Catch - An excellent vegetable patch, sir
Lucky Ticket = Wicket - A superb lucky ticket

Batting
Fat Cat / Top Hat = Bat - Here comes the next top hat
Prize Money = Bunny - This guy looks like prize money
Pitching Wedge = Edge - A lucky pitching wedge for a Gulf war
Tommy Gun = Run - How many tommy guns have we got?
Granny Knot = Shot - Nice granny knot
Waiting List = Played and Missed - Ooooh, he's on the waiting list
Brazil Nut = Cut - Lovely brazil nut
Take Five = Drive - Take five for a Gulf war
Taurus (The Bull) = Pull - A cheeky Taurus
Kelly Brook = Hook - That's a lovely Kelly Brook
Common Sense = Defence - A bit of common sense
Baa Baa Black Sheep = Sweep - A lovely baa baa
Zak Dingle = Single - A quick Zak
Kung Fu = Turn for Two - Kung Fu!
Gulf War = Four - A lucky Gulf War
Cake Mix = Six - Loads of cake mix
Muppet Show = Over-throw - What a muppet show