Looking Ahead To The New Season

This website is delighted to announce that it's been granted exclusive access to Chairman of selectors, HT part-time barmen from Chorley and leading player, parapsychologist and amateur fortune teller, Dr Math Snelling's personal insights into their predictions for the season ahead.

"It's going to be a tough season" says HT, as he pours himself a large vodka, "but I think our lads have the spirit, enthusiasm and ability to work through the difficult games ahead and gain us a promotion place."

However, Dr Snelling is less optimistic. "I can't see us even fielding a full team for the first game. We're doomed. I doubt we shall see the season out. In fact, I shall propose to the committee that we abandon the season and apply to build houses on the square. At least that way we'll get some sort of return for our efforts."

The pair of experts then gave their opinions on individual performers...

Oggy
HT says: He's the stalwart of our team. My prediction for top run scorer
MS says: I predict doom. How long can he continue to carry this club? It's all coming to an end - I can feel it.

Beasty
HT says: He's gone from strength to strength to become a rock for this club. Will score big again this year.
MS says: Beasty's ridden his luck for far too long. The bubble's going to burst this year with a very large bang.

Rich
HT says: We've finally got another skipper who's dedicated to the job for the long term. We're flourishing under Rich.
MS says: He'll jack it all in, just like the rest. We might as well all go home now.

Xfield
HT says: The best left-arm spinner at the club in modern history and a cracking batsman too. Big runs this year.
MS says: We've got better opposition this year, just wait until they get hold of Xfield's lobbedy spin. There'll be dollar signs in eyes everywhere!

Earpy
HT says: He's a man you can turn to in times of need for crucial runs or wickets. He'll be a key player this season.
MS says: Too slow in the field, too expensive with the ball and has more ducks than there are down at Chasewater. NEXT!

Hoccom
HT says: I predict big things from this youngster. A bowler very much in the Tisdale mould with plenty of wickets in him this term.
MS says: A yooof!? What do you ever win with yooofs? We'll train him up only to see him disappear to university. Why bother?

Tsungy
HT says: Another one that'll blossom this coming season. Athletic in the field, safe hands and due his maiden half-century this year.
MS says: Having spent last season as Ruscoe's run-out fodder, I predict very much the same again this time around

Snelling
HT says: I think Math's experience combined with his cunning guile with the ball will prove invaluable once again this year.
MS says: I suppose someone needs to save the day.

Holmes
HT says: I reckon that he'll be back to the form that had him opening the batting, or my name isn't HT part-time barman from Chorley.
MS says: I think we've finally replaced the loss of Tambo's regular efforts.

Haywood
HT says: He's bowling fast, he's batting hard and he's taking storming catches again. Big, big season for George, mark my words.
MS says: He's past it, over the hill, washed up, call it what you will. Might've made an impact as a second change bowler if we had any opening or first change bowlers.

Hancox
HT says: However many games he plays this year he'll emulate the success he's had in previous seasons. Naturally gifted and will score many runs.
MS says: He's lost interest, the opposition's too hard. He wont be back until there's some kids to spank all around the park.

Moseley
HT says: He rose from the dead and the people did rejoice. No, not Miles, but it will be after this season is complete.
MS says: Now we're scraping the barrel. Who's next for a comeback? Lawrence?

Wilmshurst
HT says: A youth very much in the tradition of St Matthew's youths. I predict that the latest JW to join our ranks will be an asset again this year.
MS says: More yooofs. Where's this club heading?

Cattell
HT says: Bob's a leader of men, skilled with both bat and ball and more knowledgeable than your average Encyclopedia. He'll be a key player
MS says: It's only a matter of time before people see Bob for what he is. What sort of bowler bowls 'over the wicket'?